Wednesday, January 27, 2010

The Ambulance Chaser

Ah, the lawyer. Really really really nice guy.
He was. And a gentleman to boot. Opened doors, paid for drinks, was very attentive, such a lovely guy. So very very nice.

This guy could give lessons on first dates.

However, I believe that once you start describing someone as 'nice', there is a problem. If 'nice' is the best descriptor you can come up with, then you have to ask yourself if there is a date #2 on the horizon. If the answer is 'yes', then it better be a damn sight better than 'nice'.

It came to a point, somewhere around this date, where I decided that I was going to pack the whole internet dating thing in. The effort required, and the time it was taking up, was just not worth the dating experience... I'm sure half these people would say the same thing about me!

The Sleazy Salesman

This will be a short entry. Similar to the first and final date I had with the Sleazy Salesman.

He offered to pick me up from work as we work in the same suburb.
We did lunch. Local Japanese.

He very much liked to talk about himself. A lot.

I got a follow up email, wishing me a happy new year, asking if I'd like lunch.
I declined.

Even thinking back about that date makes me want to type quickly to get it over and done with.
And... we're done here.

The Leo

So the second man I met off the 'net was better in some regards than the first.
I'll be brutally honest here - he was so damn sexy it would have made almost anything alright!

It was a date on very short notice, we decided to do dinner in Leichhardt. At this point he mentioned that he had no license (hmmmmm) so he'd meet me there. There was an accident, and the usual leeway that I'd left myself in timing wasn't enough, so I called to tell him I was - shamefully - running late.  [Without digressing here - late, to a first date, is a completely shameful act!]
He took no issue with this and instead recommended that I meet him at his place then we could wander over the road and have a drink before dinner.

At this point, I was in no position to argue... But should have.
He gave me his address, I met him at his place, he invited me in. Did I mention that this man was incredibly sexy?

He was renovating an old terrace in Leichhardt... surely it couldn't hurt to take a look right? (sexy man who renovates) He offered me a glass of wine...
Then he offered me drugs...
Then he offered me sex...

I think I actually laughed the first time he made his suggestions. More than anything because it caught me by surprise. I think because the way he looked (did I mention he was just a little bit sexy?) and his strong persona, he was used to getting his way.
Well let me tell you, he wasn't happy when he didn't!

He persisted. I resisted. (so maybe I shake my head now!) and it was time for me to leave...

It makes me wonder though, are the beautiful people of this world so used to getting their way that they can break all the usual rules of engagement? Because if that is the case, then I'm content being just lil ol' me, because I love the game, I love the chase, I love the rollercoaster ride that comes with it (OK, so maybe not ALL of it!)

When it all becomes that easy, then what is the point?

Monday, January 25, 2010

The Faker

I think the first time you meet someone 'IRL' you have no idea what to expect. This guys sure as hell didn't make the process pleasant.

He was what I think gives online dating a bad name:

  • His photographs had to have been at least eight years old. 
  • He'd gained at least 10kg. (hey, if the shoe was on the other foot?!)
  • Although he was 'separated' his wife was still cooking him dinner every night.
  • He propositioned a local hotel room and 'mutual benefits' (see point three above).
  • He ended the 'date' with "I paid for the email, you don't mind getting the coffee." (notice the lack of question mark).
I did get a follow up email, text and, oh, Christmas card - signed by his secretary (unique I thought), however that one didn't get to second date...

Répondez s'il vous plaît

I'm thinking at this point that there must be a new way to meet men.
I won't date friends' friends, as I've had my friends date my friends before, and being the middle man (so to speak), particularly when things don't go so well, is never fun. Mind you, same can be said of when they're going swimmingly...

Bars, colleagues, Salsa: No. So, I decided upon recommendation from a girlfriend who swears by the success of online dating, to give it a go; three week minimum.

Week one was a disaster, it was as I'd expected. It was what gives 'internet dating' a bad name.
Week two improved, I think you learn how to filter out the 'crap' with time.
Week three it actually became kinda fun, I started to actually 'meet' interesting people.

Internet dating is like shopping from a catalogue for men. You get all kinds of specifications that you'd like and you can modify your search criteria from height, body type, to eye colour and even star sign!
Don't pretend you're not doing it if you are. It is what it is... It's amazing what people will discuss with you when you're honest. So many of my people have told me stories since I've told them I am 'online'. In addition - you see people you know online, which means they see you too :)

What I have learnt from it is this, it's just like the real world - people lie.
But pessimism aside... I have learnt that you can tell a lot about a person by the way they communicate electronically (this says a lot coming from a woman who 'blogs - Of Many Men!)
After you exchange emails/chat for a while, next comes the phone calls, and then the first coffee.

NEVER make the mistake of a meal before a coffee... It's hard to cut a meal short. Coffee can be as quick as 20 minutes! Once you've ordered a meal it's pretty hard to leave (not impossible mind you!)
(Always pay for the first coffee - $6 is a surefire way to walk away owing nothing!)
Second date is a clarification on first date impressions.
But... to get past second date, you have to be pretty damn impressive...

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

The Coffee Buddy

Coffee buddies are just that... coffee buddies...

This one had smooth moves; left a note on the windshield of my car with a phone number and a promise of much whiskey (I am, in hindsight, seeing a trend with men who are putting the forward moves back on me!)
But it worked, I agreed to a drink. Even offered to pick him up, curious as to whether he would accept. He did... He picked the pub, a Balmain (not the good side of Balmain) hotspot.

We started the night with him picking the 'best table in the pub', that being the one that you could see the most sports coverage on. I'm fine with the odd game of sport on tele (I'll even pick the spot where I can watch the cricket from!) but there has to be a point on a first date where you draw the line...

We ate, good food, courtesy of yours truly. And I swear, this man has never brushed his teeth in his life - a focal point hard to move past... It's one of those things that you notice, and once you have, it's ALL you notice. There is a good five years of plaque sitting on those teeth... mmmmm.

Casually running into a table of his mates was the next alarm.

I called it a night, dropped him home (surprisingly he didn't opt to stay out with his mates) and was asked if we could do it again the next night...

Something I've learnt... If you want to impress the girl on a first date, there are simple, slightly old fashioned antics that will help. Offer to pick her up, or meet her there... Don't spend all night watching, or talking about, sport... Show some interest! At least offer to get the bill. If she lets you, fine, but surely she will get the second date. If not, then I believe she's setting a standard for how a 'relationship' would be anyway. We live in a modern society boys and girls.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

The Frenchman

I've always wanted to meet someone on a plane. Sounds like it would make a good story.
Instead you always end up sitting next to the smelly snorers... And I've done a plenty of travel for work in my time.

On one of my many trips back from Melbourne, I will outright admit, I was patiently yet subtly checking out the oncoming passengers, hoping for my luck to change. And along comes my usual candidate of neighbour. Large, loud businessman. As he steps into the seat, his colleague steps out from behind him, and it's my lucky day...

Not only is he French, and gorgeous, but I already have this guys number... literally.
He's one of the charmers from my Salsa class. So my neighbour kindly offers to trade seats, and it was the quickest flight back from Melbourne ever!

So we did a date. Coogee. Coffee. Pizza. It was easy, nice. We talked, held hands. Cute really.
I dropped him home and we agreed to do it again.

Second date, he cooked me dinner at his place - I cringe just remembering. Gorgeous little apartment in Pyrmont. Mood music, fresh fish from the markets, candles... He even remembered my favourite bottle of wine mentioned on date one!

Arrived at 7:30, and he serves 'nibbles'. Starts talking about cooking at 9pm. Starts cooking at 9:30. Serves dinner at 10:15. Then he starts talking about dessert somewhere around 11pm...
Strawberries, cream, cheeses, biscuits, more wine at 11PM! And light hearted conversation to go along with it, plans of the future, re-marrying, more children.

Exit stage left!

Sunday, January 17, 2010

The Fairy

On a random night in August I went, with another of my fave girlfriends, to a bar I like to refer to as "The Playground". It was the night she met a man who would be known for a long time as the Silver Fox. We were sitting at the bar when the bartender asked what I was drinking. This baffled me at first, until I realised that the nice tall man across the bar was wearing a rather large smile.

Buying a drink across the bar. A nice move. Non-confrontational, and puts the follow up on the other person (a trick that would be replayed in later days ;)

After having my girlfriend check him out for me (alas no glasses that night) and make sure I wasn't making a seriously bad move, I trotted off around the bar in search of the tall sexy man who'd bought me a drink.
I found him, sitting quietly, waiting. (Oh, so smooth).

I remember the first conversation quite clearly, as he was heaven. Melbourne based (tick: remember The Glassy - can't stalk from Melbourne!), Daddy (tick!), English (tick: hello accent!).

After putting my gorgeous girlfriend in a cab, and making sure the Silver Fox wasn't going to follow her home, I offered The Fairy a lift.
You know those days where the radio station is really kind and plays all the best tracks, back to back, and you could drive forever? We picked up take away coffee from Krispy Kreme (It must have been nigh on 2-3am) and drove. Hit the beach. Walked and talked.

In a way, it was stupid. Here's a stranger who could have left me for dead on Cronulla beach, taken the Audi and no one would have ever known... *shudders at the thought*

He went back to Melbourne. I travelled a lot for work last year, so I still saw him. He came to Sydney occasionally... We still talk. All over a drink across the bar ;)


I caught up for lunch yesterday with two of my favourite girlfriends, one who is married, and one who is to be married this year. We hit the streets of Balmain for lunch, did a spot of shopping, and topped it off with bevvies at the fantastic London Hotel.

Over lunch, we were discussing my promiscuity of late, my many dates. Time was spent telling the stories (oh the stories) of my dating adventures. We discussed the differences between general whoring (i.e. sex with many men) and, in my opinion, promiscuity - "involving indiscriminate mingling or association" - with many men.

The girls joked about my journal, which would be found one day on the shelves of bookstores with many stories of many dates from myself - of many men.

I woke up at 4:17 this morning needing a glass water. I decided at that point that I was going to 'blog this. If for nothing else, then for The Girls to keep up with the entertainment of the stories such as 39 and Claire, and many others that will unfold...

I got hooked on a blog at the end of last year, by a man called Sam de Brito. I blame him for this crazy idea :) and The Girls. 

The Glassy

In the words of Joss Stone... I fell in love with a boy. But that boy was crazy. Not like the fun kinda crazy. More like the kind of crazy you just don't want in your life... The kind of crazy that doesn't go away...

That was December '08 - February '09. Well, before he finally went away it was probably June.

There was nothing for a while... A well needed hiatus from the world of boys. And then the adventures began. I didn't see it that way at first, it was more a rollercoaster ride... Now I look back at the stories I have to tell and now I tell them.