Saturday, March 19, 2011


As some of my more "frequent" readers would be aware, it's been a while since I've blogged.

There are reasons for that.
Mostly because there has been something a little more permanent in my life.
I'm not going to go into it here and now, because it certainly, if not more than, deserves at least a post of its own.

However, now comes the part where dating is an option, or a necessity, right now.  This brings me back to an old post I meant to write many months ago.  I had drafted some of it, so I'll reflect and use this opportunity to cast back and learn from my own advice :)

A while back, I took a girlfriend of mine out to The Playground with me as she was keen to get 'back into the action'. She asked how I manage to start conversations, how I interact with a stranger in a bar.  We talked about the best places to sit, and conversely, the worst... She noted "There are so many rules".

Guidelines - they're just guidelines...

These are the snippets I live by in bars. Take it or leave it. It's not rocket science or ground breaking stuff, but it works:

  • Always do a lap of the bar before you get your first drink. This way you can work out the best real estate. 
  • Don't put yourself into a corner.  If someone creepy comes along, it makes it harder to get away.
  • If you see someone you want to talk to I find the trick is not to cramp their style by plonking yourself down next to them.  Rather, find a spot where you/they are clearly visible, make eye contact, hold it, smile, THEN look away.  Do this two, or three times max, but over time.  If he/she doesn't hold your eye contact, they're not interested, move on.
  • If you're in a conversation and it's dull, move on, but no need to be rude about it. (You never know, his gorgeous friend might show up later!)
  • If he buys you a drink and you're genuinely interested in the guy (or gal) then reciprocate, buy him (or her) the next drink. If not, don't let him buy you more than one.  Be polite, say thanks, and move on.
  • If you decide to go home with your new found friend, he (or she) is more than likely going to expect sex. You can do dating with sex later on, but you cannot do sex with dating later on. It just does not work. (See The Kid)
Some bonus pointers - but this is merely etiquette:

  • Keep politics, religion and money out of the conversation.  
  • If you don't know, don't pretend.
  • Be interesting, funny always helps.   Keep it light. Don't exclude anyone from the conversation, particularly, don't focus only on the person you're interested in...

Whilst this goes against everything feminists fight for... If you wear a low cut top that shows off how great your potential nursing capability is, then expect a guy to look. Lets be realistic here: Men Like Boobs. If you put them out there, they'll look. Don't whinge about it like its new news afterwards.  
OK, blatant staring is probably a little OTT, you might want to move on and find someone a little more subtle at that point.

Like I said, these are not rules, they are merely guidelines.


  1. I love this post and feel like I should be taking notes for Friday night..... *takes notes* :P

  2. Some brilliant tips here. I'm just pleased I'm not on the dating scene right now - it sounds like a minefield. Made me laugh though.

  3. oww. Missed having you around the blogosphere! Great tips - and I'm not even on the market to try em out :).

    To good times..